We’re not done yet! Dying for a dictionary to decipher our decidedly dizzying divvy of diagnoses related designations*? 

*definitions are infused with dye (bleach) ¡disfruten

  • ABA Applied behavior analysis (not to be confused with ABBA although you may find yourself crying “Mama Mia” the first time you see the therapy in action). Trust the process.
  • Advocate Your personal smoking gun. Knows the law. Knows your kid. Will be your voice during IEP (Individualized Education Plan) meetings.  Tune in to Episode 3 for our interview with Ysela Heim, parent advocate and friend.  
  • Brujeria   Noun. 1. Translation from Spanish >Witchcraft 

2. What las viejas en la familia may accuse you of for “giving” your child autism.  It is what it is. Coño. 

  • CARD Center for Autism and Related Disabiites (pardon us as we misspoke: the D in CARD is not to be confused with “Disorders”- Google that and you’ll reach the name of an ABA treatment center)

OUR CARD is funded through the Florida Legislature and steps in after a diagnosis (hey we got that part right!).

From CARD’s website: http://www.umcard.org

Primary services offered by CARD include client and family support services (i.e., information, resources, referrals, and support groups), programmatic technical assistance and consultation services (i.e., supporting programs in their efforts to more effectively meet client needs), training services (client, family, and professional), and public education and awareness activities. CARD does not provide diagnostic (see below) or treatment services.

  • Considerally Brenda’s pronunciation of considerably in E2- The “D” Word. Example: Supposibly children can improve considerally with the right intervention. 


  • The First Tee A character building, life-altering during and after-school golf program.  Tell them Billy Madison’s mom (aka Kristi) sent you. https://thefirsttee.org/
  • Hippotherapy Hippos and horses and hay OH MY! Kidding about the hippo part! Horse therapy (essentially, horseback riding) is thought to help kids like ours build their core muscles and therefore “center” them. Plus, we get to pet horsies! Yippie!
  • JAFCO JAFCO’s mission is to care for abused, neglected, and special needs children within the Jewish community. Thank goodness they serve our families for JUST the latter reason, and they don’t care Kristi’s kids aren’t even half Jewish. To speak to the love we have for JAFCO, specifically The Children’s Ability Center, would take all day. 
  • OT Occupational therapy is meant to help engage patients in meaningful everyday activities (i.e. self-care). For our kiddos, it means lots of fine motor work. Plan to watch your kid try to yank tiny beads from thick clay and wield (thank God) dull scissors. Invaluable therapy you must make the time for (cue Kristi’s mama guilt). 
  • PDD-NOS Pervasive Developmental Disorder, Not Otherwise Specified. Kristi’s husband Tim’s definition: it’s total and complete bullshit.  Dropped from the DSM-5 (Diagnosis and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, 5th Editon) it diagnosed a person as having some qualities of autism but not enough to say they have actual autism. Come again? The worst part is that Kristi sat on that high horse of PDD-NOS for a few years, banking that J.R. didn’t really  have autism (enter the ASD or Autism Spectrum Disorder umbrella). Boo! 😂
  • PT Physical Therapy, not to be confused with Party Time. Imperative to help build muscle strength, gross motor skills, and coordination, physical therapy helps children work and strengthen their sitting, crawling, standing, jumping, and running skills. Oliver, for example, didn’t walk until age three due to his hypotonia (low muscle tone). PT was the one therapy he simply could not do without. After multiple mommy-taxi daily trips all over the city for the first three years of his life to receive therapies, party time (aka wine time) was the PT that helped mommy out! Hellllllo, cabernet sauvignon!